the world according to eric (that's me!)

hornets

after the excitement of the hair cut day rupert decided that he and i should get out a bit more. he says we used to have far more fun that we do now and he thinks it's because i've become "too woossy" and "worrying about everything".

told him i was not woossy at all - who was it that stood up to the screaming barnsheets that time?? - but rupert maintained that nicking their food after they'd gone on the rampage hardly counts as a feat of courage.

rupert is wrong.

i started to tell him so but he was having none of it. he says we've become "too cosy" and "middle aged" and we need to live life "on the edge again".

i suggested a game of peeling looks or even blowing in the wind - but that's hardly living life on the edge.

apparently.

he's even suggested we should cut back on the gingernuts as they symbolize what we have become.

apparently.

had a long hard look at the gingernut i keep behind my ear for emergencies. it looks nothing like me. or rupert. other than the fluff.

so now i don't know what to do for the best. went to see jill - who's poorly at present - and she reminded me that rupert always gets like this in the summer. jill says it's a lergic reaction to something. lucy was sitting with jill at the time. they seemed to be doing some sort of quiz. jill was mostly bees- whatever that may mean.

lucy says it will be his hornets.

told her i didn't think donkeys had hornets - but i am wrong.

apparently.

so lucy has given me a sticky thing to apply surreptitiously to rupert at some stage. this will top up his hornet levels and give him a "bit of a boost".

let's hope she's right.

otherwise i might end up with a "bit of a boot".

oh joy!

hair cut

great day!!

kind guy with the beard, the wee feckeyedleeye guy and the why-eye guy decided it was time to give the girls and the alpacas their annual hair cut.

rupert said he knew it was time for the hair cut because the wall had started to rise. asked what he meant and he said it's an old farmers' saying. "when the wall rises the sheeps gets surprises"

said i thought he'd made that up but rupert was having none of it. since rupert's not generally good at rhyming or scanning and since the phrase does both, i can only assume dear reader that he is right.

so the wall must have risen as the sheeps definitely got their surprises. the only one who escaped was lilly, who's too young just now. she decided to have a nap while the others were in the chair.

because rupert knew what was coming we managed to get front row seats. trigger had to stand on top of the trossachs to get a decent view!

anyway it took all day and there was an awful lot of swearing and cursing - and that was just the sheeps! the alpacas forgot they'd had theirs done and went in again for good measure. chris did the same - but we all knew it was only so he'd get double rations of the ginger nuts the bossy woman was doling out. madge and mungo refused point blank to have a hair cut, spat at everyone there and managed to escape - and there was very nearly a nasty accident with scary mary before the wee fekeyedleeye guy remembered where he was putting the trimmers.

it was baking hot and jenny made a killing with the sale of sun screen - which had a familiar smell but i couldn't quite place it. she said it was factory 25 and strong stuff - she was right about that. it absolutley honked. still, if it does the job.

the kind guy with the beard, the wee feckeyedleeyeguy and the why-eye guy can hardly stand now. something to do with a nackered back. or neck. or shoulder.

rupert and i laughed till we cried and then laughed some more.

can't wait for next year!

poker

back on line at last.

have had a dreadful few days what with the screaming barn sheets. they simply would not stop fighting - or screaming. madge told us she thought they were in fact llemons,but they didn't speak the same language as her or mungo. madge rather thought they might be third generation migrators. they certainly were a bit fiery - and they spat even more than madge.

and she has a medical condition.

we all learned to keep our distance of course - specially at meal times.

bossy woman thought she knew best of course and simply would not give in. things came to a bit of a head when one of the new llemons decided to chase her round the paddock. bossy woman was furious. so she ran after the llemons with a bucket of water. in her high heels!

she got absolutely soaked.

did we laugh??!!

so now the new llemons are back inside in the naughty stable. rupert and i felt really sorry for them and went to see them this evening. we took some cardboard specially.

they were playing cards and smoking. don't think they like cardboard. they certainly didn't want to stop and talk. anyway they offered us a game of something called poke her. rupert was quite keen but i reminded him that we had that meeting with the mittee about elfs and safety and couldn't stay.

so what did rupert do? he only went and invited them to tea tomorrow.

oh joy.